Society’s expectation of wearing pants in public

Today I will venture out of the apartment in the daytime.

This is more difficult to do that it may seem. First I have to pick out clothes that don’t make me look like I’m unemployed. Today we have gone with a witty shirt that makes a joke out of Voltron and Jerry McGuire… hilarious!

I’m wearing my Timberland boots because it’s still a little slushy out, and I’m wearing a pair of my brown cargo pants… I don’t want to look THAT good, just in case someone out there is itching to hire someone out of pity, I'm their man.

There is a strange emotion of going out without having a job. I feel guilty leaving the computer. I won’t be searching the job listings again, just in case I missed something. It’s nerve wracking sitting back and worrying about missing an opportunity. I really shouldn’t be, especially since I have a blackberry that gets ALL my emails and ALL my phonecalls. So really I will get all my calls and messages no matter where I am in the city. The only time I would be unavailable is when I’m on the subway **Note: take buses**. I, as a rational person, realize that this is an unreasonable fear in such an age of technology. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m not doing enough to get out to get myself another job. Then as a person who is looking forward to new opportunities is afraid that the other part of me, the part that is worried about missing a job offer, is going to find a job that totally sucks and will only lead me to be depressed even more. So then the part of me that is trying to find a job is waiting for the part of me who is looking for new opportunities to come up with something that is fulfilling and something I can excel at, but it doesn’t trust that part of me because it knows the opportunity seeking side is idealistic but lazy and would much rather play John Madden Football 2005.

This is how my brain works when I’m left alone for extended periods of time.