The Dole Awards #3 – Best Art Direction in Layoffs

This one is surprising. You think if anyone would be able to survive a recession it would be the people that give you erections. If courtesans are #1 or #2 we’ll know just how serious this recession is.

#3 Pfizer Inc.
1/26/2009
19,800

This one is a little misleading however. They have such large cuts due to the fact that they are acquiring Wyeth Pharmaceuticals. A merger like this will often lead to corporate layoffs. Obviously this is necessary to reduce redundancy through the company that was two that has become 1. I understand that it’s a difficult thing to do, especially in this economy, but acquisitions will still happen even in recession. Pfizer is doing what they should be doing in this respect; you don’t stop doing business just because times are tough. It’s hard to see those jobs lost, but in the long run this acquisition is better for business and ultimately makes jobs more secure.

Now that we've covered the company line.

Once we look a little deeper we find that Pfizer has cut or announced cuts of over 59,000 jobs since 2005. According to Bnet.com in October of 2008 while talking about a planned reorganization of the company a spokesperson for Pfizer said that there would be “no-layoffs.” Now, looking at those statements and the current grouping of these January layoffs some of you might think, like I did originally, that these layoffs shouldn’t be looked at under the same scope as the rest of these layoffs cited in The Dole; and you would be correct.

However, there is always a however, Pfizer doesn’t win their Dole Award on the sheer number of layoffs. As stated, most of these layoffs come because of the merger. That’s right … most…

Pfizer takes home the golden loaf of bread due to them sweet talking sugar lips. It is impressive to watch them lay off 20,000 people at a clip, but end up blaming things other than the economy or the fact that they are so undoubtedly going out of business. The acquisition of Wyeth is a smart move to expand the brand to stay in competition in the pharmaceutical game. They have no new drugs in the pipeline that look as though they can help carry the company, and with Lipitor going generic in Twenty Eleven they stand to be in a bunch of trouble. They have already started laying people off in their Connecticut and New Jersey offices. Those usually come in “hundreds” and not “thousands,” but they seem to come every few months now. While New Jersey stands to lose a few more hundred, maybe thousand, jobs Connecticut stands to suffer a worse fate. Both Wyeth and Pfizer have large offices in Connecticut and those will most certainly be combined, probably resulting in one of them closing down or at least slowing operations greatly.

Pfizer was already working on an initiative to save 2 billion dollars, and then these layoffs in January came. After reading a few articles about these specific layoffs, there is a noticeably common theme that nobody seems to think these layoffs will be enough.

They do stand a chance of survival, but they will need to continue their current trend in business. That means making acquisitions and laying some poor souls off. You know it, I know it, and they know it. But all of us also know that the public perception right now is, well, crazy at best. Layoffs look bad in this economic climate. They are viewed by some, including myself sometimes, as the first step to changing the locks at the office over the weekend. Even spending money looks bad. It’s amazing that in a free market society we have began to view spending money as a bad idea. That’s right, in case you didn’t recognize how much trouble we are in, in our capitalistic society it has become taboo to spend money. Especially when you are in the middle of laying off a boatload of people.

I am ultimately impressed by the fact that Pfizer could both spend money and lay off people by the tens of thousands and seem to make it seem like it’s a good thing. They hid their company layoffs behind the layoffs of an acquisition and they keep coming out with strong words about keeping “no layoffs” and “company reconstruction” that keep us satiated. They have continued to falter, but keep on flapping those sugar lips and seem to fall to the back burner of public scrutiny. It’s simply amazing what you are willing to ignore when you have a boner.