The Dole Awards #1 – The Best (and biggest) Layoffs of the year

This is truly a treat. These final layoffs combine everything that we could want in a horribly high number of jobs lost. We have a terribly run business, begging the government for money, and still laying off of tens of thousands.

And the winner is ...

#1 General Motors
2/17/09
66,758

I am finding discrepancies in the actual number of layoffs. Some Articles are saying 47,000 but The Forbes Layoff Tracker pegs GM at 66,758. Looking through all these articles and press releases, it is obvious that there is a lot of deceit throughout this entire situation.

So let's dive in and try to pull this one apart, starting with the layoffs.

We are talking about 47 - 66 THOUSAND jobs to be lost over the next year. From what I can tell it's going to be 47 k by the end of this year and probably round up to 66 k through Twenty Twelve. This is truly incredible. They are looking at 20,000 jobs in the US and the rest will be around the rest of the world. You know, since we outsourced all those jobs over the past bunch of years; you know, so they could keep up and stay in business. I don't blame them for outsourcing to central and South America. I understand the concepts and could be considered a fan, but now in this recession we are going to see just exactly how tied together this world is. These layoffs will affect the global economy even though GM is largely stereotyped as only an American company. There are plants all throughout the Americas including large ones in Mexico, Canada, and Brazil. There are also some that are overseas like China as well as Switzerland. GM has a bigger "foreign footprint" than a domestic one. (Note: that is important, remember it for the next paragraph) We could be watching GM finally begin to go out of business, which would not only have disastrous implications in the US but all over the world. As we've seen recently as the American economy goes the world economy goes. The way that outsourcing has gone over the past 10 to 15 years has interlocked all the economies in the world. America, being headquarters to many companies like GM, is the lead domino in a sense.

The phrase "A fish rots from the head down" really seems to sum up my point here.

The layoffs are big and will seem to have a global impact.

"But CJ, we've seen this before in the awards!"

That's right you have. So GM must have done something spectacular to grab the gold. You bet they did. As in spectacularly asking mom and dad, a.k.a the government, for 18 billion dollars in December of 2008, AND THEY GOT IT! They didn't get all 18, yet... Reportedly by February 18th they had already received 13.4 Billion. Awesome! I can't believe it, we're going to bail out a failing business. Why would the US government do this? Because of their "foreign footprint"... Aaaahhh, of course! The foreign footprint! While I agree that the global economy is important, perhaps even as important as the American economy, I don't want to spend American taxpayer money on saving jobs outside of the US. That sounds xenophobic I'm sure, but it's not, I promise you that. This is a real concern for me, and I think it's a very valid one. While it looks like right now only a billion dollars or so is going foreign, specifically to Brazil. (yes, I said "ONLY a billion") But I want to ask why.

Why is this being spent this way?

Why are we even bailing out this company?

Why are we letting them send this money to foreign nations while jobs in this country are
being lost as a record pace?

Taking the opposite side of things, I understand that in order for GM to pull themselves out of this, they are going to need to make sure their entire corporation is running at it's most efficient. I understand that and the argument that making the Brazil plants work better will ultimately help the headquarters in America work better and be more profitable. This makes sense to me and fits in with everything I have been saying. While I, probably selfishly, would prefer to save American jobs I understand that if the global economy gets better than the American economy will follow. I've been preaching it the other way around but am able to see how this could help.

Then I found out that General Motors has asked for an additional 30 billion dollars, and I go back to my questions of why...

Why are we trying to save a company that isn't willing to do anything to save itself?

This company is dying and has been for my whole life. They are seemingly willing to do nothing to get better, they blame others like they are children while they put their hand out and ask for a loan. This is not the first time in our history we have had a gas crisis and this is not the first time in our history that General motors has been in trouble. They offer us big bulky American cars and trucks with cries of Patriotism and 18 miles per gallon. Are we really wondering why sales are down?

I'm a dude, I get it, trucks are awesome. BUT the economy is down, and has been since before just October by the way, and gas prices are up so I'm not buying a truck from you. I'm not even going to buy a new car from you. I'd buy a used car that will last me for 6 years and 120,000 miles. Trust me,I had one a couple years ago, they do actually exist.

So General Motors takes the gold for their commitment to gross negligence. Here's to you guys for your unwavering business plan that, in my opinion, never worked. You've been going out of business since I was a child, and now it looks as though you are going to complete that mission. Don't be mistaken though, this is not just due to you blowing yourselves up. You will notice that Circuit City didn't get any love on this countdown. This is in recognition of your uncanny ability to convince our elected officials that you are deserving of a bailout. So not only have you completely sunk yourself, but it looks like you may succeed in driving this country into the ground as well. After suckering the government to give you 13 billion dollars, you brilliantly went back and asked for over twice as much. Knowing they will almost certainly give you some if not all of it because we have already invested an absurd amount on you that to stop now would mean that we will never see the money we have already spent. It's a brilliant strategy, I have to commend you for it. I mean really, I can't believe you were all able to pull it off, it's nothing short of extraordinary. Honestly, how long with that 30 billion keep you afloat? 2013? 2015? How long do you project it?

I am looking forward the a new Michael Moore Film: "Roger and me 2: A humorous look at how General Motors helped destroy Washington and America as we knew it"

So congratulations again, and congratulations to your partners in crime. Ford and Chrysler were right there with you, they deserve to be mentioned in this with you even though you have stepped up and gone so far above and beyond them both. It really is spectacular.

This is really going to put a different spin on those "This is our country" commercials...