Shame on you...

An event I was working on recently was protested.

I was taking a moment to try and eat some lunch while the event was up and running and a man walked over to me from the protest.

He kept his distance, but he walked toward me and looked directly at me. I reacted as most people would react when someone is walking toward them and looked up as he walked over. When I made eye contact with him it was clear to me that he was indeed looking at me, he paused and after a moment he he said:

“Shame on you for working for those rich people”

Those of you that have been with me since the get go have seen the ups and downs this unemployment period had on me. It was a very difficult time all around for me.

But still…. Shame on me for working for all those rich people.

Dear Mr. Protester,

I may have been unemployed for a while this year, but that does not mean that I forgot everything my momma taught me. I know you don't want me to work for rich people, but seriously, who would you like me to work for? Homeless people? I will tell you something about how this society works. You work for people who have money, therefore, when it comes time to pay you for your services the checks don’t bounce.

I don't know how you pay your rent, but I pay mine with straight cash, homie.

Sincerely,

Corporate Kerouac

I'm not even supposed to be here today...

Started my second week of dismal work in a row on Monday.

Scheduled to work 2 days, but slated to make more than allowed by the DoL.

I was looking forward to getting some things done, like canceling my health insurance, figuring out a time to get this new cavity looked at, and periodically staring at my budget spreadsheet in horror for an hour or 2 at a time. It was fixing to be quite a week.

My thoughts this past Sunday were filled with what items I could put on my to do list to keep myself busy during the week. After 4 or 5 phone calls and a couple emails I sit here today, Friday, having worked every day this week. (I even worked 2 gigs one day) Looking forward to next week at my only day off until next Friday is going to be Sunday, and let's be real, Sundays during football season might as well be a day of work. Honestly, this to do list isn't going to do itself...

Freelancing is a fickle mistress, but so far, since I've been with her, she's took care of me...

We need to talk...

I know I haven’t called in a while

I want you to know that I have not been slacking.

We have an honest relationship and I think it’s important that you know that I haven’t gone lazy.

We need to be honest with each other

I think it’s important to let you know I’ve been seeing someone else.

Yes, it’s been work.

No, come on, don’t cry.

I know it’s hard, but you’re not my one and only anymore.

I don’t need you like I did at the beginning of the year.

Don’t give me that now…

Yes, I know you helped me through a very hard time.

No, technically I don’t owe you anything…

Because I’ve paid in previously and will continue to pay in with my future tax dollars, but that’s beside the point.

This isn’t so much an end as it is a beginning.

It’s not going to be the way it was, no…

But I can change… we can change

Yeah, I’ll have a lot of work to do.

I know we’ve been through this before, but this is different, things are really looking up.

What did I say about the crying?

Come on baby, we made it through the tough time, now we get to reap the rewards of our hard work!

Nothing stays the same forever.

Change is good.

This is certainly going to be…

I'm ok, you're ok

In light of recent actions by a man who had a blog and described with great detail his wish to hurt and kill, I wanted to be specific about a couple things.

Jackson is just a character. While he deals with real issues and emotions, this all simply serves as a conduit for me to give an insight into this world I found myself thrust into. I know one of my posts a while back made people concerned that I was contemplating suicide. I assure you that if that were the case that I would certainly seek help, I like myself too much to let myself do anything like that to harm myself.

Everything in the corporate Kerouac camp is all good. It has been a difficult eight months but I have survived, and things are on their way up. I am entering a new phase of my unemployment. one that is exciting and terrifying at the same time. I appreciate the reads and I know I've been slacking, I promise more writing in the future.

This may have been unnecessary, perhaps I'm overreacting to all this, but I'm having a hard time dealing with a guy walking in and shooting up a gym because he couldn't get his stinger sticky...

There are people who have real problems in this world, then there's me, and then there's this guy... the saddest part of this all is that he just gave the families of those 3 women real problems

You Don’t Know Me...

A girl stopped me on the street the other day and asked me to give to a charity. I like to give to charities, there are some that are very important to me. People close to me know that I bother them for money every year as a raise money for children in schools. However, at this time in my life, I am flat broke. Most of you know this based on reading my recent blog posts. So this sweet girl, who is attempting to do something good for others, stopped me and gave me her speech about broke ass children. I politely apologized and told her I had no cash. She then mentioned that all I needed was a credit card to pledge. I told her that I was completely broke and didn't have any money to pledge. She, obviously being used to rejection, thanked me for my time and tried to leave an impression by relating to me personally.

In retort to my saying I was “too broke to pledge,” she responded with:

"I'm a student, I know how that is."

You have no fucking idea how it is...

You don't know what it's like to not know if you'll make rent each month. You don't know what it's like to pick which bill you aren't going to pay that month in order to make sure you can eat. You have no idea what it's like to play Russian roulette with your credit rating. You don’t know the embarrassment of letting your friends invite you to their place for dinner because you can’t afford to go to the supermarket.

Spare me the small talk darling, because you don't know anything about me.

Bloggers note: This is said without any responsibility to anyone besides myself, like children. Comments from those who have more than their own life to worry about are more than welcome

When you broke, You broken

This is hard.

This is really hard...

I’m an optimistic guy.

But I’m done. Just done…

If this isn’t the end of my rope then I am terrified to find out where that is because I can feel myself dangling and I’m just done.

Last week was my birthday. This week has been the worst I’ve had since the layoff.

I cut a rent check this week and bought a one way ticket to Boston. This leaves me with $15 dollars in my bank account. I’m not even sure I’m going to be able to afford a bus ticket back. I’m not sure I want to afford a bus ticket back.

I had to skip a bill this month, this is incredibly embarrassing for me. I’m embarrassed that I could not afford my phone bill. I am embarrassed that I am packing my dirty laundry into my suitcase to bring home and wash at my parents house. I am embarrassed that I cannot afford 6 dollars to go downstairs and do two loads of laundry. I’m embarrassed that I am going to have to borrow $20 from my mother in order to get back to my apartment.

It’s days like this where I wish I was as anonymous as I pretend to be.

Saturday is exactly 6 months.

Happy half year Jackson…

April Comes Earlier Every Year

Opened my mailbox the other day and guess what I found…

A CHECK!

This is a spectacular thing for me. I did my duty and worked me some freelance gigs a week and a half ago or so and this was my payday. This was great, I owe a bunch of money around and this is going to be a big help for me. So I open it up and it’s like $300 dollars short!

Alright then, time to do a little math.

After going through my calendar the hours seem correct. Originally when I was booked it looked like it was going to be more, but all the jobs didn’t take us the entire allotted time. So the actual hours worked were lower than the anticipated hours. Being that this was hourly and not a day rate, these types of things obviously effect the paycheck.

Ok, so worked a little less than I had anticipated, but still that doesn’t quite match up. The lower hours would have only made up about $150, so there is still $150 that I can’t account for that I feel I’m due…

So let me look at this stub a little closer. I have my Earnings… Taxes… Deductions… wait… taxes what is this?

What’s a FICA and why does it cost 40 dollars?

How is MEDFICA different than a FICA? At least that one only costs 10 bucks. What else is there, FED WTH? Those aren’t even words. NY, NYCITY, NY DIS.? What is all this? Well, how much is the total?

ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY TWO DOLLARS?!?!?

What the hell is going on here? What is this? Today marks the day that my payment plan for my aught seven Taxes. How much do I owe? I mean seriously? Doesn’t the government know I’m broke? They certainly should. I registered my brokeness with them. Are they not paying attention? I went to them like I used to go to my mother (and by used to, I mean last month) and beg for money!

Dear The Government,

In case you hadn’t noticed, I am receiving Unemployment Benefits. This means I don’t have a full time job, so if you would be so kind as to leave my wages alone when I actually DO get a gig I would appreciate that.

Seriously, I have bills to pay.

Regretfully yours,

Corporate Kerouac