Friday, January 30, 2009

Society’s expectation of wearing pants in public

Today I will venture out of the apartment in the daytime.

This is more difficult to do that it may seem. First I have to pick out clothes that don’t make me look like I’m unemployed. Today we have gone with a witty shirt that makes a joke out of Voltron and Jerry McGuire… hilarious!

I’m wearing my Timberland boots because it’s still a little slushy out, and I’m wearing a pair of my brown cargo pants… I don’t want to look THAT good, just in case someone out there is itching to hire someone out of pity, I'm their man.

There is a strange emotion of going out without having a job. I feel guilty leaving the computer. I won’t be searching the job listings again, just in case I missed something. It’s nerve wracking sitting back and worrying about missing an opportunity. I really shouldn’t be, especially since I have a blackberry that gets ALL my emails and ALL my phonecalls. So really I will get all my calls and messages no matter where I am in the city. The only time I would be unavailable is when I’m on the subway **Note: take buses**. I, as a rational person, realize that this is an unreasonable fear in such an age of technology. However, I can’t help but feel that I’m not doing enough to get out to get myself another job. Then as a person who is looking forward to new opportunities is afraid that the other part of me, the part that is worried about missing a job offer, is going to find a job that totally sucks and will only lead me to be depressed even more. So then the part of me that is trying to find a job is waiting for the part of me who is looking for new opportunities to come up with something that is fulfilling and something I can excel at, but it doesn’t trust that part of me because it knows the opportunity seeking side is idealistic but lazy and would much rather play John Madden Football 2005.

This is how my brain works when I’m left alone for extended periods of time.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Day 4 of Unemployment/ Day 1 of Freelancing

Surprise! You're working today. I didn't realize I was going to be so busy. Started with a phone call at 10 AM from my vendor for the show next week and ended now, at 6:00 pm eastern standard time.

Congratulations, You have successfully worked enough to bill for your day rate!! HOORAY!!

The trouble is that it's a surprise to those who will be paying it, so they may balk when the get that invoice. However, this is worth fighting for! Today = groceries for a couple weeks, or maybe even a date at that half price sushi place I really like!!

Got my unemployment literature in the mail today, need to go read that to figure out how long i get to wait on the phone.

Time to charge that bluetooth ...

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Day 3: Agenda

10:00 AM - Wake up and check email

10:30 AM - Reformat resume based on tips from the nice lady at the staffing agency I spoke to yesterday

11:00 AM - Send out emails for Freelance gig next week

Noon - Conference call for Freelance gig next week

1:00 PM - Call Landlord to tell him about broken stove

1:30 PM - Call him back and tell him about the lock on the door too
**Note: Don't mention to landlord that I have been laid off**

2:00 PM - Check in with roommate about how search to fill room is going

3:00 PM - Shower

3:30 PM - Send resume's to people who I've worked with over the past year, remind them I'm unemployed
**Note: Say something personal in the email, remind them that they like you**


4:00 PM -
Check bank account.

5:00 PM - Grab drinks with Freelance friend in the city, see what he has for work.

7 :00 PM - Leave friend, go out with a girl.
**Note: Don't talk about unemployment"

11:00 PM - Come home, watch the Daily Show, go to sleep.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Craigslist Needs More Sections

Dear students at Columbia and NYU,


I will not work on your film for free.

Please figure out how to post your bullshit ads in another part of craigslist. There aren’t a whole lot of websites that facilitate the freelance lifestyles of those who work in the entertainment industry, and sifting through your nonsense is a waste of my time. Please put your mishegas elsewhere.

You’re movie idea isn’t great and I’m not giving up my day rate to help your sorry ass out... I’m sorry, let me rephrase, I know YOU think your movie idea is great, but it's not. Trust me, I’ve seen it before, it was staring Eric Stoltz and Chris Eigeman and they are much better at this than you are.

Find somewhere else to put your shit, there are people trying to work here.

Sincerely,

C.J.K.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The First Official Day Off

From the heart of the recession, I'm a man trying to find his new place.

Taking the first official steps in my laid off life, I applied for NY State Unemployment. I know this is something that I have paid into for most of my adult life and I know it's there to help me, however, it did not feel good filling out that application. It's a system that is in place to help me stay afloat, but I feel as though it's beneath me to take advantage of it. I have had a job steadily since I turned 14 and started bagging groceries. I like working, I enjoy having control over my life and how I will get my next paycheck. I've always been in control of how I will, or will not, make rent each month. To apply for this government benefit makes me feel as thought I've failed somehow, made me feel dirty. This is a foolish way to feel given that I have been reassured that it certainly was not my performance that caused this situation, but this is no solace for someone who feels as thought he's lost control over his life.

Hopefully this will serve as motivation to really get out there and find something that I not only want to do, but will also further my career.

I guess we will find out tomorrow.